That's MY card, for real? Come on!

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to see yourself on your very own football card? You collect them as a kid, idolizing the players you so carefully sort into stacks and dream of the day when other kids will do the same with your card. You work your butt off to make it to the collegiate level, hope and pray that you get drafted by the NFL and anxiously await your first training camp, when you know the card companies will be shooting for the new season's cards. You're not sure they'll even make a card of you, since you are an Offensive Tackle after all and who really cares about cards of players like us, but hopefully you'll be in the set. You get word that, yes, you will be in the set. A Star Rookie, card #254 in 2009 Upper Deck Football. And then you see it, your first NFL card and all you can say is...

What the Heck!!! That is the best they could do?? Who the hell is that, 'cause I'm sure not that much of a dork. Why didn't anyone tell me they were shooting that day? I look like I put a whole box of breathe right strips on my nose so I wouldn't keep my roommate awake and forgot to take them off! Not to mention the fact I'm in a practice jersey against a plain BROWN wall! Why didn't I get a fancy photo shoot in an actual game uniform and get to jump off a trampoline or something into some sort of awesome pose? This sucks, I should have been a wide receiver!! They always have cool cards.

Aww, man! You've got to be kidding me!! I just had the best season of my career! I'm a Super Bowl MVP! What the heck is this, showing me getting high/lowed, like some pansy no-name spare? Couldn't they have gotten a picture of me doing my endzone celebration or breaking some DB's ankles with a juke move? I'm a wide receiver for crying out loud, not some offensive tackle! Man, I get no respect. This wasn't how I thought my card would look!